uNCeNSoreD trUTH..TATS sURE to BRing u OUT NAKeD~

2004-09-28T20:02:00.000-07:00

well wat can i sae..erm ... if ma blog is being watched by INTRUDERz..like MY PALS... lolz... anywae pple i m attached to e guy i luv so yea..u all duno him ..yet to intro so yea tc n peace out

2004-09-05T23:17:00.000-07:00

guess wat...sun i got e screwing of ma life frm ma mum ask me why sia..well i misinterpreted alot of shit n told ram wrong info..i tot she angri wid him cos carrie told her abt us BT THEN IT SEEMS CARRIE DIDNT TELL ABT US CARRIE WAS CRAPPING...duno why also...argh n ma mum was angri wid chris cos chris dint even bother to spare 10cents or 5 mins in tat week to call her when he promised her..i told her he v v bz she sae its all bullshit...n then she sae nvm la he change alot already i did ma best by being a mum didnt noe i was so eaasily forgotten..i felt shitty sia ...hai bt wat can i do .. n then she sae i noe he dun leik to cum here already n mani shit tat i dun wana put on ma blog...hai nvm...n then at nite jia jia cried sia ... dun ask me why i also duno sia...hmm n then i realised is abt her mum la her mum v fed up wid her for joinin e singapore model n then i was tellin her abt e aust shit la.. n then sudd she sae she luv her granny e most in her life.. n then i sae good 4 u i duno granny's luv e onli luv i noe is chris grannys one other tahn ma parents one..i said chris granny treat me leik own grandchild sia v v nice lady n then i tok till i cry n then she sae whoa revathi not ur own granny n u cry arr i was leik realli loh e best food i have eaten other than ma mum was his granny's one cos so bloody full of luv... hai n then i sae too bad now its all gone..n then i sae i miss her sia..bt too bad la...her grandson also hai..duno la ... if gime tat kinda granny i v v happi sia perfect man..bt hai god is fair to all la huh..
n i m v v dissapointed abt mani tings..n o yea 3rd sept wat happened was i broke down when liana too cant make it at nite..n then after sch while walkin back i jus cried loh..n then carrie n jia jia call me sae mus meet me so i refused n gave em attituide bt carrie persisted..n then i met em at bp n went to ma house n then sijia house ... then we chat n danced like siao..n then at nite 11plus already i was at jia jia house gona send carrie home wid sijia n then when carrie boarded e bus i wanted to wave byebye n then usualli i walk alrready not straight..so i dint see e floor .. ma leg fell into e hole sia e edges were glassy n cut ma entire ankle..bleeding badly..lolz i wanted to cry out so badly bt argh i tahan till i cant sia n then a indian guy he walked all e wae frm e bus stp to where we r n he asked me if he cud pae 4 ma cab n ask sijia see me home ... i was leik huh no its ok la wat a kind soul sia n sijia saw his uniform he workin at jackplace..i guess bp wan not sure..n then i was like shocked..i was tinkin e person who was always here is not anymore sia wat a fcuked up life... n then jia jia was leik nvm la n then she sae cum we take cab bt i so stubborn i wanted to walkk cos its leik i duno leh i tink i siao i jus dint wana give up n walked up e slope n ma skin tore...OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...bt i dint cry ... i jus kpt goin sijia was v v shocked by ma move...n then she saw me home so late..hai thx u sijia luv ya... hai
n then at home eevery1 sleepin then mum woke up she saw n she got shocked..ask me why so late i told her i play tennis fall wan ...lolz... n then she was leik omg n i washed ma wound WAS V V V HOT BURNING EFFECT bt i told maself rekha dun cry u r on ur own u gota b strong..n then there was glass pieces on ma wound i took it out U Noe it hurt big time sia..nvr had such a incident b4 ..n then finalli i went to sleep...b4 i slept i was tinkin hmm last time i sae headache got pple take cab n deliver mac breakfast then i tinkin now i realli so badly injured theres no1 .. n its leik naturalli i mean ma parents were around me wat so nxt person i tend to search for is of cos tat kind soul bt onli to feel tat darkness n emptyness around n i went to sleep feelin realli shitty..n then nxt dae i went to suntec makan...carrie held me on loh i went cos if not mon i how to go to sch .. so i had to walk out ... then went town n went home i reached back home at 4 n then so earli i was home alone i was jus sittin at e tv tinkin ... i mean its natural u been so close to sum1 sia n sudd it all vanishes..hai shux man n then ma mum sae she duno how long more can she survive n ma dad .. she jus sae dun trust eevry1 blindly rekha.. even if ma parents are nto around she sae dun b blind ..dusnt mean sum1 is gd to u n can stand u means can stand u for long n she said she dun wana see me cryin ova any guy..n she said tat u gota tc of urself gurl ... sad to sae u got no siblings u r on ur own.. bt whereeva u r u wud b good ok..HAI i realli cried i hugged ma mum n cried n i said mummy i reealli luv him mummy...hes not bad mummy i noe its jus ma fault mummy i was tis n tat n then mum was leik dun worry la .... jus tat dun bother urself wid tis sadness now as my exams are approaching my final exam is in 3weeks time she said abt ram dun sae antyhing first she sae jus study now finish ur sem1 exam ..i was leik yes mummy n told her dun b angri wid me cos i brought him home n now she feels tis wae...n she said aiyah nt mummy sad he dun care me bt cos he n u v v distant nowadaes so mummy tats why worried ...n also she sae she treat him leik own sson sudd one year so close .. n sudd everything jus crashes apart..tats why she v v sad..i was leik dun worry mummy he wud see u soon n ma mum was like u dun go tell him i was leik no la if he lvu u he wud see u soon wan.. n ma mum jus shutup loh.. n then jus now tis stupit liana pal mohan ask me if i indian HOW MANI TIMES TO ASK IF I INDIAN A NOT HUH ... idiot sia he .. n then he sae i look leik eurasian..i was leik ahhaah ok ok thxs .. n then we were talkin abt clubbin then he sae if i go call him n then i sae how to call u sia as if i noe ur no or anythin sia .. n he sae get frm liana i was leik 4get it i wont loh... n then he sae aiyah u go jus call me go la.. i was leik .... i dint reply..hahah DUN WAN SIA... crap... hai i myself hai nvm... n then yea todae i cum sch leg vv v bad ... tom i goin serangoon wid dad goin mustafa buy phone n buy crackers.. i got 3weeks to exam i m not gona go out anymore mayb tis week la fri..sat all i gona stay home sia..ahah n then yea la leg is cumin up bad..swollen all ma classmates were concerned..n others i duno also asked..hai ..sob sob...dus bgr realli change a person tis much?hai dissapointing bt nvm truth hurts..n also another news i m not gona cum on ma blog anymore to update...mayb mayb not ... i duno... i m gona write on ma stripe diary..
n o yea liana bside me sae tat she ONLI JUS BROKE UP ON 31 AUG.. she go dance wid a guy n then now SHE HAS A CRUSH ON HIM..HAI SEE LA jiah laht sia...LIANA O LIANA now she jus left to meet her guy N FOR ME leh...my guy is ma books liao la... n ma 2 bfs at home ma 2 soft toys hehehe ...haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii life is so boring.............................................. life is so ...
hai duno jus wana bitch so much abt life bt then nothin cums out .. all i noe is tat if ma leg is still swollen n got pass cos till now arr got pass...i mite hav to go hosp give e doc see..if u noe me well i scared of doc..hai so yeah la...duno leh pray 4 me ppeepz...n to ma exams cumin up well i hope everything goes fine..n to chris i m sorry 4 hurting u i feel v v guilty...jus cum ma house la jus tis sun she prepared ur fav tomatoe pachadi tinkin u might suprise visit her..aiyah dun break her heaart la ...u dun wan oso at least u call la n tok to her sia.. ...dun b kuku bird......n fadzlin jus stpped by ... n hey nvr write abt me arr.. hahaha well FADZLIN JUS CELEB HER 1 MTH ANNI WID HER BF 4TH SEPT..ahha good la all e best gurl fren.. n o yea suprisingly nick came ova to see me ..OMGGGGG i was shocked i tot he wanted to send me card get well soon when he asked for ma add..scarly he came ova loh..weirdo sia..anywae he holidae wat..he popped by see me n ma mum was leik shocked how cum he cum sia hehe .. i oso duno sia..pple who i tot not concerned are leik ppoopin by bt hai nvm...n nick was leik panda u need any hlp call me dun tink chris e onli one ok ...anywae he dun luv u already panda n that i warned u tat u shudnt have gone on as u wud end up breakin ur heart..when he said tis i jus kpt quiet.then he said..uncle is here 4 u always jus buzz me i was leik ok n then i was leik v sad la tat hai duno leh at wat uncle said..mayb truth hurts i guess i kp quiet i dint defend any1 tis time as i was at losing end .. n shocked actualli n he asked if i wanted to go down walk can hold onto him i said nah its ok he said cmon la panda .. n then i was liek no la uncle i wana rrest home 1st ...as tom got sch which is todae..weird eh..i also duno wats happening..uncle broke up wid his gf for a v lame reason la he another crap ... hai n then egan was leik hmm tellin me sum stuffs..v v odd stuffs goin on wid e guys around me bt anywae SORRY arr U ALL MA PALS ONLI HOR..hehe
uncle o uncle n o yea uncle noe i noe sijia liao I LA SO STUPIT PUT HER PIC N MA PIC... n then kenna xposed..n uncle was askin me out to club i said nah n he said meet up soon he buy me ting i sae no need hahaha.. i dun wan also...bt he also wans a treat frm me la as i promised him n he gave me mani treats liao..haha its jus weird tat uncle also broke up n sudd uncle so good.. hmm ..... for now till sem1 in 3weeks exam n xactly 1 mth sch close le for holidaes..so yea mus study now...n yea anywae...i plan to have tis steeping out stuff..dun ask what n why jus sumthing..n sijia dun cry..jus follow ur dreams...n jia rem i got shoulder..N ITS FLESHYYY not leik CARRIE WAN SO SO SKINNY LIEK TWIG..okok hai now gona have lesson god bless me n all..n yea ...

2004-09-03T04:44:00.000-07:00

hey bloggie well yest hmm no comments i 4got abt it well for todae well..hahah i was supposed to meet liana n fatimah ..bt last min all cancelled
n i broke down..hai dun ask why sept3rd jus is sept 3rd..n then yea loh.... hai nw at jjia house wid carrie they noe i sad so they ask me so we play catchin jia almost fell ahhahah we play touch backside..o yea i saw my mum's sis niece ...n she toked to me tell me abt her bf la sae she n her bf v close esp wid her family n tat she childish type n he aaccepts her ahahah n tat e bf more of a son to e family hmm i jus got rem of sumthin n i went leik ohok good loh 4 u n she sae sec 1 she saw me i bcum v nigero now i was like NOOO hehehe n then she jus kp tokin abt her bf n sae i chio got bf anot i sae no la i so ugli ehhehe n then she was like find a guy who wud b close to ur family cos it benefitted her n i was like HMM ok..n i was like see how la..n then when i left i kept hmm tinkin abt sumthing..hai..guess ren jia yi jing ba wo wang le..suan le ba...hai...........
mei ban fa wo lai de tai chi le...hmmm wo ye bu xiang duo shuo le ta jing tian yi ding wan de hen kai xing bu xiang da rao ren le..i tink i ma fan ta tai duo...hai was showin carie n jia ma 1st mth present e candle lolz..sudd wana read e card i wud go hme see..hehhe...ren shi hui bian..shang xing shi shang xing dan mei ban fa..hmm seems ma mum told carrie sumthing.. i tink even if hai..carrie also told her she dun wan me n chris togetha ... hmmm why carrie go sae tat i duno..hai looks liek no1 can un derstand e feeling..nvm hai....life o life..jus wish sum1 wud understand.. nw i tink mum erm i duno

2004-09-02T23:18:00.000-07:00

its been such a pek cek dae....siah yest ..i been waking up supa late for sch n missin lessons onli go to sch abt 10plus ahhahah lolz i always go anandha bhavan to makan breakfast THOSAIII YUMM YUMM i luv thosai...anywae tats in e morn cos evenin i go home by yishun wae wat so no indian food la anywae i dun wan oso i wan ma mummy's food anywae yea so then erm yest v v pekcek..i hated yest la actualli to b truthful..1st thing 1st e stupit guy who i always call stupit guy ... yest at canteen was buyin food n saw me n he n e usual indian grp v close so he go sae sumthin in tamil sae eh tis one tis one n then the other guy sae yeah yeah i saw .. i was lIEK OKKK WATS TAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN ...yea 1st thing tat irritated me n thx god i didnt see caroline todae..anywae erm yest arr was damn funni seh...erm cos i duno sia ... its leik after being so detached..mani weird guys ... i m LEIK ARGHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO haah kinda thing duno sia...anywae yest tis kuku liana wanted me to follow her to do proj bt then hor i followed her guess wat hmm 1st thing 1st e 1st lab we entered hor got no dreamweaver so had to chao n then we entered a new lab e comp didnt wana read her cd n then finalli it read her cd at another comp bt no prog also n then we change lab n then that lab cant log in so another lab we tried antoher 3 labs n cant log in n we decided to try our last luck n then finalli everythin ok i was doin ma work she was doin hers n best part this bitch bside me CUD HAVE JUS TOLD US EARLIER ABT her pal usin e pc I DOIN MA STUFF SHE SAE HER PAL WANA USE I WAS LEIK USE OTHER ONE LA SHE SAE CANT HER PAL STUFF IN E PC I SO PEK CEK I DUN LEIK PPLE RUSHIN ME SIA ... so OK FINE I PRINTED MA STUFF N CHAO I N LIANA SUPPOSED TO GO T0WN AND BAD NEWS PPLE LIANA N AMIN BROKE UP ARGHH HAi after ma break up she break up hai amin asked 4 e breakup for no reason everythin ON AUG IS SO DAMN UNCALLED FOR ..n then its leik ok fine n then rainin so heavivly n then i dun care i jus drag her to town n then on e wae we tokin abt x bfs .. she was tellin me abt her 1st bf sleepin iwd another gurl who is her best pal i was leiK OK KKKKK N I TOLD HER MY STORY ABT SIMILAR LA N STARTED TELLIN HER ABT MY -1 bf to 4th bf so yea n then she was leik okok i was leik yea duno whose life i jinxed last birth also .. n then after in town we went to bk at fareast ..THEY SAE MACHINE BROKE DOWN NO ONION RINGS N FRIES SO WE LEFT.. b4 that in far east i saw a curly hair cutie ..hehehe i tink can b ma daughter sia ..so preety angelic jus liek ME LOLLZZZ HAHAH jokin la bt realli can sae ma daughter loh..n then we go to borders bk n then we sat down chat la tis time ma turn to chat la n then she hear la n then she sae she cold so we left la n then walk all e wae to ps n sumthin happened i dun wana sae...n then i was lauffin n lauffin ... lolzzz...n then later i boarded e bus n i saw sum1 n then yea ..went home la .. shagged n mum said at her workplace she jus stpped work cos of her back pain was painful leik siao n then e nurse help her massage i was leik oh gawd n i hlp her massage at nite n then came sijia tat kuku she also v pekcek n we were bitchin on e phone . n i was tellin her loads of shit abt wat ma mum told me n then its leik yea loh she agree n we came to a conclusion so yea tats abt it ... n o yea i jus reached sch now so its leik sianz i went to anandha bhavan n ate curry puff..hai duno la jus sianz n i tied two plaits to sch todae n ma cap cos bad hair dae...hai ...so sianz...missin rendang sia hai i tot of buyin a skirt bt hai 19bucks onli so cheap..bt erm hai ...sianz la ... i duno la sudd no appetite to shop or anything onli feel leik eatin rendang .. i hope its a good dae todae.. n god bless me n ma parents..tat abt it ..so fast sept 2nd le ...haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
sianzzzzzzzzzzz mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn i jus did finish ma iiso proj i havin presentation in leik 2 wks time ..kewl eh ehhe so xcited EHHE o yea my poly pals started callin me tai tai i duno why sia..no idea...bt U NOE WAT I M NOT A TAI TAI ok hehe..anywa peace n chill n liana dun worry if its meant to b it wud b ...jus chill sia ...

2004-08-31T23:59:00.001-07:00

well hey todae well yea i woke up at 630 and studied well shud b ok la all last min .. got back ma maths test scored 9/10 dun ask me where ma brains popped out frm well I DUNO ...ehheh sudd i jus seem leik i have brains for maths ehheh .. lolz n then todaes test shud b ok la i duno god bless me ... n yea i was tokin to ma pri sch pal on e bus she also schin at tp i was tellin her last time i met her i was attached now i m not so i was tellin her he broke up wid me ..kinda shit .. n she was leik nvm hopefulli e nxt time i see u u wud b attached i was leik ahahhaha...NO..ehehe sudd i m so badly cravin for rendang duno why sia..ruchi achar n rendang SO SO BADLY..BT TOO BAD NO1 TO COOK 4 ME ...LOLZ ...hai duno leh v v sianz..rendang so tempting..ANY KIND SOUL TO COOK 4 ME?HAHAH lolz welll i stpped takin bus at serangoon so sucky all e weird guys staring at all YISHUN WAE IS SUPA DOOPER RELAXED..MMMMM SO KEWL I LUV E SCENERY..ANYWAE i m prayin that god guides ma parents n me n ram ..anywae every1 do tc n HAVE FUN ...n o YEA sumthin happened todae..bt i cant rem bt sumthin did...hmmm my hOUSE I CANT ENTER MA BLOG SIA I M AT SCH NOW HOPEFULLI IT WUD B A GOOD DAE I STILL GOT ASSIGNMENTS TO RUSH YEA ..LOLZ N PLSSS GRANT ME E RENDANG DESIRE ...AHHA B IT AT SHOP OR WAT I WAN E SAME XACT RENDANG I USED TO EAT..n o yea ... august is gona end .. BEEN A BAD MTH N yeah hopefulli sept is wae betta.heheh LOLZZ..TODAE LIANA was tellin me abt her luv probs..well....hai i duno la ... i m jus so out of luv le..u tell me probs also leik HAI I FEEL V SHITTY cos i basicalli see ma reflection in her..all i can sae is tat dun hold on too tight....loLZZZZ look whose toKING..YEA hehe i jus hope every1's life changes for e betta b4 i go to aussie..n i gota submit ma forms by like nxt mth or 2 mths more..lolz...sudd i jus miss scott so much.. my son ehhehe lolz anywae gota do ma proj enuff of bloggie for now n been long since i went out sia..hai SO BADLY CRAVIN FOR IT EHHEH lolz MUACKZ..n o yea doug is jus gettin os n so concerned ova me sia i m so touched hai.. OMG OMG b4 i 4get i saw caroline e erm ehemm..wid her gf ..lolz I BEEN SEEIN HER RECENTLY N SHE BEEN SMILING AT ME WHEN I SEE HER I GET REMINDED OF ERM..well erm.....vengaiyam cos vengaiyam n she look alike...jus tat vengaiyem more built n good looking la..LOLZ i saw her gf bigger than her sia ..ehhe lolz..no comments small wrld.. i kp seein her frm tat dae at e sch fair of tp n even todae i so shocked ..she la see also see pple until leik tat 4 wat .. so i noticed her..n best part..SHE NOES E USUAL INDIAN GRP AT E CANTTEN WAT A SMALL WORLD SIA NO WONDER TAT DAE E GUY LOOKED AT VENGAIYEM UNTIL LEIK TAT on e lift..so he noes la ... cos its leik i tot they wun have xposure to such stuff bt scarly its leik SO SMALL WORLD E MORE I SEE CAROLINE E MORE VENGAIYAM I SEE SIA..V V SCARY...n i almost blurted out ABT vengaiyem to fatimah i guess i jus alil siao i wud b fine if i stp seein caroline...ARGH SHE IS SO SO SO DISGUSTING ME ... DUN ASK WHY I JUS ARGHHH WHEN I SEE EM..LAST TIME I COMPLAIN SHE LUVS LOOKIN AT ME WHEN WID VANITHA ...N B4 TAT WHEN I WAS IN AES..N NOW SHES IN AES..I TOT CANT SEE HER .. HER GF ALSO IN TP ..FCUK MAN ..tis WHOLE thing is jus so small world.. o damn liana called sudd i her n fatimah planin to east coast for dinner either parkwae e new foodcourt or komlas at east coast see la or mayb end up at tm most prob is at east coast la I NEED A BREAK AS WELL..I MISS KOMLAS FOOD BEEN AGES..hai

2004-08-31T23:59:00.000-07:00

2004-08-30T23:32:00.000-07:00

heyyyy U NOE SUMTHIN WAT A BLOOD TIRING LAME DAE 1st thing 1st past 2 weeks i not been goin for lectures..i been skippin em leik nothinin man ..why cos i cant wake up ... with 2 idiots bothering me of cos i cant..LOLZ...anywae no la i jus cant wake up anymore leik last time so much to do ..so todae i skipped ma lect so morn i got down at serangoon right i went to anadha bhavan alone to makan la thosai..n then bside me was a chinese gurl n a indian guy n a indian gurl ...OMGGGG SO irritatin siah e indian GUY ASSHOLE...i tink if chris was there..HE WUD HAVE GAV HIM A PUNCH I MEAN IF WE WERE STILL GOIN on..fcuk sia who he tink he lookin at man..he jus kpt LOOKIN N LOOKIN N LOOKIN I TINK HES MY AGE I CANT B BTOHERED I JUS GAUGE FRM E GURLS LA ..ITS LEIK I WAS SO SCARED TO EVEN EAT COS HE JUS KPT LOOKIN CUDNT TAKE HIS EYES OFF..DUNO WHY SIA..IRRITATED BADLY make me cant realli eat..SO ODD RIGHT U EAT N SUM1 KP STARING OR LOOKIN WATEVA...N SUMORE E PERSON GOT FACE OF A STUPIT RETARDED..lolz...n then after eatin i took bus to sch la..eatin in anandha bhavan is so boring already no company...hai YAH LIFE LA MUS GET USED TO IT ...lolz n then after i go to sch la .. mus pass up ma nmm proj ma GUESS WAT EVERYTHING GOT ERASED.SO I REDID..N THEN SUAY AGAIN E COMP I USED TO REDO GOT VIRUS IN SCH ..SO EVERYTHIN GONE AGAIN ...DAMN PEKCEK I WAS GONA BREAK DOWN SIA...N THEN I WAS LEIK OK FCUK N THEN MY PAL KAILI HLPED ME.. SHE DID EVERYTHIN BACK FOR ME SIA .. N I ONLI LEFT SCH AT NITE SUPA LATE.. N REACHED HOME AT 10PLUS SEH..FCUK MAN ... n NXT DAE GOT FDCNK N MATHS TEST ... I WAS SO SO TIRED THAT I JUS FELL ASLEEP I DINT BTOHER GOIN ONLINE SIA..wat a dae BOI I WAS POOPED..HAI...ANYWAE LIFE IS LIFE SO YEA LIFE HERE I COME ...things abt australia is so scary ..sudd its leik whose gona tc of ma parents i duno man GOD JUS BLESS ME ... n o yea tat dae after drinkin vodka wid jia jia i carried e bottle down wid me la cs i didnt wna dispose at jia place n BEST PART TIS GUY WHO WAS SO FCUKIN WELL DRESS..HE STALKED ME SEH..SIJIA GOT SO SCARED SHE DCIDED TO CALL ME N TOK ON E PHONE TILL I REACHED HOME..WAT A MANIAC MAN E GUY TINK I WAS DRUNK ARR WELL JIA JIA SAID I DID LOOK SUPA SEH..BT NO I WASNT...lolzzz...anywae i told maself i hate MASELF FOR DRINKIN...I M NVR GONA TOUCH IT EVA..I M DISGUSTED AT MA OWN BHAVIOUR..REKHA B A DESCENT GURL NOT A DRINKER...N START GOIN TO TEMPLE TO SING I M SURE THE GODS MISS UR VOICE..AHHAHA YEA RIGHT WATEVA...LOLZ hehehe duno leh sudd clubbin n all dusnt sound appeasing to ma ears anymore..no idea what has gotten ova me bt yea.. n mum enquired abt chris i was leik i duno la mummy n she said ...welll yea dun call chris anymore even if hes line is back n sae its all my fault for his hp bill well i agree la..hai lolz duno la i jus v sleepy nITE...tom test I DIE NO NEED STUDY LE ..

2004-08-29T20:32:00.000-07:00

talking abt the cockroach e cockroach finalli made its appearence todae..oh gawd...sai ram..gime e calmness swami..i saw chris todae omg i cant belief he has so maniprobs...thx god realli thx swami for not lettin me b in his life n irritate him more i guesshe need peace loads of peace..n its jus a good timing..at least he did tok to me..i tot he wudntbt my heart didnt allow me to b mean ... so i wanted to tok to him..when i saw him i didnt dare to see his face..jus didnt wana face him bt mum told me eh go tok its ur ram..hes herecmon..rekha .. n i was leik hmm hes no more mine bt .. i can still tok so i made him tok at leastthough he may nt have spoken everythin in his heart..he spoke to me .. at least i m a pal in hisheart..more than enuff..he looks so stressed n his face one look can tell he v seldom tok kokn v seldom was leik last time whne he wid me act cute face n all...can see mani worries..swami pls hlp me tc of him n swami pls pls guide him swami i m goin aussie nxt year i duno if i can get to see him eva if i go..swami u r e god pls hlp him out thrugh his rough periodswami he has no1else other than u ..pls save him om sai ram...i pray tat he has peace of mindi can see tat hes so run down..in fact he lost weight..hai didnt wana sae it..swami he was at onept of time e happiest ass i knew swami..now its so opp..mum saw him n cried sia ..cant belieftats e ram she knew so so so sad face he has..gawd..i didnt noe he had so mani probs n i cant belief i irritated him tat much ..hai nvm..now its ova i dun wana tok abt it jus hopeeverythin can b betta 4 him...swami its in ur hands..pls make his financial prob at home go awaen hope his parents wud b more sensible..swami pls i beg u ... om sai ram...WAHT ARE U DOIN THERESWAMI WHY JUS CANT U SHINE UR LIGHT ON HIM MORE..SWAMI THIS WASNT WHO I USED TO B WID OM SAI RAM TIS IS SUCH A TORTURE SEEIN HIM LEIK TIS HE WAS A CAREFREEE BOI SEEIN HIM LIEK TAT CAN JUSBREAK ANY1'S HEART..SWAMI PLS DO SUMTHIN..PLS I WAN HIM TO KP SMILING NOT CRYIN DUN EVA WANA SEETAT FADE AWAE..OM SAI RAM..N SWAMI DUN EVA DPRIVE HIM OF MA MUM..tats e last ting any1 wud needand ma dad IS SO PROUD OF U WHILE SCHIN U MANAGE UR FAMILY N CASH HE REALLI HANDSUP TO U n MY PARENTS ARE ALL E WAE BHIND U MAN..GO COCKROACH GO !WAIT I TAKE E MORTEIN(cockroach ridding spray) AND SPRAY U HAHAHAHAHAH lolz...anywae i m bhind u too la cockroach jus stp crying la v ugli leh u look...u so handsum alreayd liek modern anjadi cockroach why sia u wana spoil ur looks by crying ehhe ...hai tats abt it man BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

2004-08-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

2004-08-28T20:30:00.000-07:00

o yea pple asked me why i luv chris so much..hahah well heres e ans to it..well 1st thing 1st i luv him alot cos hes so diff..he nags at me bt i find it so bloody cute..i mena who dares nag at me man ehhehe i always hear my pals sae sum1 nag at em as in their parents n all n i nvr had such a xperience so chris la its basicalli him.. i luv him cos he was so himself when he was wid me .. i still rem e pottatoe puffs story he n his budget bt i guess its all back to square one .. well hmm he was jus such a fab guy that any gurl wud wan..honestly its not abt e looks or anything else.. its honestly e truth n e luv n how much of time n luv they r willing to invest..chris invested all he had..and i m jus so touched by it all...welll to me chris is leik a pal grandad bro n bf hes jus all in one .. when i cry he wud shout cos he hates to see me cry tats how much he used to luv me at least..n he cares alot for ma studies wheneva i m down he was there..durin ma o levels i rem... hahah my parents allways put me down bt he jus lifted me up sia..omg ... no1 wud do tat .. if not for him i tink i dun need sae already..vin he jus left me to handle it all alone bt chris he stayed on wid me went thrugh mani shits..when i was sad i needent feear as i noe theres always a shoulder near..he was jus ma everything man..when i jus sae i sick he still can take a cab down .. buy me mac breakfast..hai damn it who wud do tis man..despite e fact he had sch he skipped sch u noe .. hai its leik i onli noe parents luv other luv i had la bt i didnt noe of it ..until chris came in he totali set a new meanin to ma luv life...if not 4 him i wud have hated luv..anywae i dun hate luv .. well hai now tat hes gone its so bloody empty..bt no choice .. life mah.. n also he cooked for me which guy wud cook 4 a gurl not any tat i noe of ..hes jus a special angel i cud relate to n made me feel special...without him i jus wudnt have pulled thrugh tis far to poly...although he mayb gone bt memories are still kept safe wid me..ehhehe n anywae he was my 1st valentine so u can imagine hes liek so sensitive to ur feelings wan..can tok cok anythin wid him hes jus e most BEAUTIFUl guy i have met..hai anywae its gone so yea ... god blessed me once ..and i m glad..n u noe i miss his rendang..n tomyum fried rice..hahahah LOLZ so badly am craving for it.. and o yea i rem when i was wid chris i dint luv him at all was onli like crushie thingin..he used to ask me which part i fell in luv wid him well .. i rem now finalli when he actualli served eevry1 at my auntie's function n best part tis may sound so tamil movie bt my parents n him 1st met in a temple hahah beautiful white temple..lolzzz anywae yea n i fell in luv wid him cos HE LUVED MA MUM MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE..he luvs her more than me sia..to other gals leik wtf man bt to me any1 who luvs ma mum more than me jus turns it all on n yea lolzzzzzzzzzzz..its such a waste its all gone bt i wish him best of luck in his life though

2004-08-28T20:14:00.000-07:00

hey dear bloggie.. i rem b4 i met chris i so badly wanted to go aussie to study wid sijian now chris left n sudd the idea came back to me nothin to do wid him jus ma own mindset..i duno man i feel so so FORCED TO STUDY here in spore .. n i tink i made e wrong choice of polyi duno dun ask me ... my studies r cumin up fine..bt its so god damn it stressful. nwi opened a option to ma mum tat is to work for till nxt year june mayb n then go aust on augn go on students loan..n then good wat i work there after ma degree n can attain pr n bring ma parentsova..welll...i realise tat mani tings i n ma mum gota escape frm .. n tis is a gatewae.. for memy TAT LOGAMBA IS SUCH A HASSEL..RECENTLY TOPICS ABT Her have been raisin bt who can i tell it toi been cryin bt i jus shutit.. i realise e pple i tell to dun give a damn anymore n i dun carei tink i m in charge of ma life i dun need any tom dick n harry here anymore..i luv ma mum n dad i wana give em e best yest seein ma dad tat hurt .. i felt shitty i get e feelin tatsumthings gona happen n hai alot of shit..nvr seen dad tis devasted..mum also she was saein sumthinabt whats gona happen to HER as both got bloodpressure n age is catchin up wid dad.. i felt leik crying.cmon la GUYS CAME N LEFT..bt both ma parents did not leave me .. i tink tat ma dad is supa great..if he want he cud have left ..bt he chose to stay on ... though its not recognedin e eyes of erm U NOE ..its leik mum's havin troubs at work n WID TAT LOGAMBA recently tooits leik if i m not gona b there 4 em who else..every1 else can sae i luv ur mum tis n crap bt at e end of e dae they have their own lives..out there..jus cos mum sheltered em for a whiledusnt mean the pple wud tc of her for life..i realised alot of shit yest..unbelivable..i m more n more distant frm e word of luv..as it caused me too muchl...its too expensive to afford..i cant afford it..i rather have ma parents bside than SUM1 ELSE..after all e sum1 elsewud sooner or later be sum1elses's sum1 else tats y i too dropped e idea abt chris..seein ma mumits leik i cant b bothered..hes not her son i m her daughter..she did mani 4 me..althoughi broke her heart when it cums to him..bt i mtryin to mend it all ..n put back e pieces of hersmile..its leik ... i duno man bt its jus cum to a pt i realise..guys n me jus IMPOSSIBLE..n tat guy todae can b nice bt at e end of e dae e same mouth of i luv u wud b i hate u i dun wana b deceived time n time again cos MY CHARAC ALSO SUCKY I DUN BLAME EM..to me i havealot of ma probs..i did tell pple tat my probs always i wud b e last one standin to handle empple sae nonoo me too wana share.. n e result of e sharing is tis..DO I SEEM LEIK I WUD TRUSTANY1 ANYMORE?I M BROKEN..E TRUST EVERYTHIN GONE..to me luv is nothin bt a bunch of crap...guys r nothing bt scrap..they cum n go .. bt my parents luv me to e max..eeven pals cum n goi guess every1 has a reason..n e conclusion now is tat i m goin to australia bt wat abt ma parentsi cant give em up leik tat..my dads v sad eva since canada..am i able to tok to any1?no1..its liek pple who came they sae can share after sharin all sayonara to me n then even being palsthey sae scared i wan em back...hahaha REKHAAAAA has realised it all..they jus leave me in e lurchwid no1 to share or tok to ..tat i dcided to jus spill it here..i m jus prayin WHOEVA LEAVES MEITS OK BT JUS NOT MA PARENTS OR I WUNT B ALIVE I PROMISE..chris leave me for e rest of ma life also nvmat e end of e dae he was nvr mine at all..bt ma parents were my onli possessions since youngthey were e one who had tis much of patience wid me..chris came saein he cant b as patient as my parentsouch...to me i tink in words of anger it hurts e others..without em realising i dun blame embt jus stop showin it to a broken gurl...4 now i m contentd wid life..as i realised mani truthsn i m jus glad i did..N NAINA N MUMMY I LUV U GUYS ..n swami pls kp em bside me i dun need pals norE GUY I LUVED N LOST .. I DUN WAN ANY OF EM I JUS WAN MA DIAMOND PARENTS ... cos theyshowed me tis much of patience n they jus u noe ..i duno sia i jus wish i cud have a councelloror shoulder to tok to bt too bad..hai god bless em .. i rather u take ma life then to take em awae frm methxs u ..

2004-08-28T09:08:00.000-07:00

haiyah todae arr DAMN DINT GET TO GO TO SCH COS OF SIJIA N JUSTIN LAST NITE TOK COK ON PHONE
DUN LET ME SLEEP TILL 3AM N I JUS SLEPT ON E PHONE N then jia jia told me justin said i luv u n then
he said i hate u n then he sae i luv u more to me bt i jus went leiK FCUK u n i blabbered sumthin
i dun even rem loh..its leik hai so funni anywae tat justin of mine arr is mad loh...tok cok
anywae todae was realli a NOTI DAE FOR ME N JIA JIA N JUSTIN ESP ME N JIA JIA WE MET N THEN
WALKED AT TOWN ALOT OF MATTERS WERE GOIN ON MA HEAD SO I WAS V QUIET TODAE N THEN JIA JIA
ASKED WAT HAPPEN I SAE NOTHIN I GOT PROBS AT HOME SIA ..TODAE V WEIRD MA DAD LOOKED SUPA
UPSET I FELT LEIK SHIT I DUNO MAN I LUV MY DAD N MUM IF I SEE EM SAD I WUD B E SADDEST SHIT
N THEN ITS LEIK I WENT OUT TO TOWN INSTEAD OF DOIN MA PROJ COS I WAS NOT IN E MOOD NT HEN
ERM GO AROUND TOWN N I GOT CARRIE TIS LACY THONG WID JIA JIA AHHAHA CARRIE GONA CRY TIS TIME
HAHAHA KEWL MAN N THEN AFTER TOWN GUESS WAT HAPPENED WE V V CURIOUS LA HOW LESBIANS N ALL ACT SO TODAE
WE FELT SO DPRIVED OF BF SO YEA WAT WE DID I JUS HELD HER HAND N WALKED DOWN I RECD LOTS OF WIERD
STARES BT IT WAS OK CMON LA GHURL N GURL NOT ALWAYS LESBO LEH ASSHOLES N THEN on e bus she kp
fallin down so i held her sia .. SO MANI WEIRD STARES I FELT SO ODD..n then under ma blk I HOLD HER HAND
E GUY LOOKED AT ME SHOCKED HAHAHA EEVEN SIJIA NOTICED AHHAHA WE WERE LAUFFIN N HE NOES MA DAD
DAMN HAHAHA i was leik NVM CANT B BOTHERED TINK ANYTHIN U ALL WAN n then go to ma house take vcd n chao
to jia jia house b4 tat went to bp buy vodka n chips SHH..we jus felt leik being noti la
n yea la n then go to her house drink n dance n eat n tok cok hahaha v v FUN I LUVIN LIFE NOW
HEHEHE i realised alot of things..anywae TOM ALSO I GOIN TO DRINK..SHHH ehheh gurls nite in
so kewl sia.. n then we jus toked crap la n told how nice to hold each others hand DUN GET FUNNI IDEAS
JUS PALS LOH PLS .. jus tat NICE Loh n i guess we miss holdin hands so yea as in pple hold hand
onli got bf wat .. gurl n gurl hold hand pple tink les HAI bt nice feelin to have a gf SO CALLED
GF
AHAHHA LOLZ JUS SO DAMN KEWL BT EEEE NEVER...EHHEHE Lolz N thx sijia for makin all ma daes..
n YEA i hpe u wont leave me .. U MA BEST BUDDY MUACKZZZZ

2004-08-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

2004-08-27T07:22:00.000-07:00

hmm...well after giving it much thought...i finalli decided to erm well good news for chris.. well yea goodbye...i guess i learnt ma lesson...1st thing 1st.. if everythin was meant to b it wud b no matter whereva u n i hide..we mmite cross IF meant to b .. bt if not its not then...i m happi to have met a guy leik u .. a great guy.. after much thought...i dcided he was e best guy ... sijia asked me bt its leik hes not tat handsum hes not e rich acj guy .. bt well to all of u out there i was e one wid him i noe him.. hes a gem of a guy .. his heart is as big as e universe not tat i m tryin to suck up to u cos i given up...i cant 4get u takes time ... bt i wont bug u anymore its a promise... jus guess god has sumthin else 4 u n me .. as in diff paths..well its kewl to noe we once crossed each others life..bt one thing is tat i dun us to b enimies..tats e last thing any bgr wud need.. it started wid a smile contd wid a kiss n ended wid a tear..i noe u lost ur intrest...it dusnt matter..all i noe is tat i m glad i had a bf liek u .. n tat i wont pester u anymore..if i do ... i wud nvr get to live a good life...promise...bt abt me luvin u i dun wana tok abt it ... well peepz.. i bought this diary wid chris n i dun tink i can tok abt anythin anymore on ma blog..i need ma private space..b it good or bad.. abt life n all... i dun wish to update any1 ... n i wud write abt ma tots n daes.. if chris eva or any1else eva comes into ma life i wud show it to em...mayb NOT jus any1else...BT u noe i duno.. anywae hmmm i guess i wud lastly i dun tink i wud eva see u eva...even if i do i noe u mite not jus acknowledge me ... so yea let me sae it thx u 4 everything i had fun realli i mean apart frm e quarrel at least i m happi tat u n i had a common goal tats to luv .. although it has faded on ur side.. its ok ... i m kewl abt it THUMBS Up.. well i m worried abt u ... i jus hope everythin wud go fine 4 u .. n i dun blame u honestly i dunt....i guess i shud have realised it long time back for tis dae.. hmm good luck to life n send ma regards to ur granny i noe i cant eat her cookin anymore bt it didnt matter...I TRIED IT B4 .. its jus e memories nothing else i need..anywae thx u so much n lastly thx u 4 being there when i needed u badly ... without u i mite nt have been able to pull thrugh ma O levels..thx u so much HUGZZZ... i promise nvr to bug u promise ok?go abt ur life...i rest ma case...jus rem ma parents n tats all .. come when u wana .. dun worry i wont try anything at all i dprived u of mani tings.. e onli ting i tink i mite have given u a great mum n dad at least so i m not gona tel em anything my main concern is ma mum shes not v good at handling shocks so yea i wont dprive u of ma parents they r all urs jus dun hurt em by 4gettin em or i wud KILL U I SWEAR..other than tat u n i got nothin to do wid each other .. i give u ma word..i gave u ma heart bt u returned it back ... so now i wud give u ma word n it wud stay wid u 4eva..sorry 4 pushin u so much...n i realised nothin can b solved by force..it either happens or it goes awae..i dun wana wreck ma brains or make u feel guilty...to me i lead ma own life...jus cos life was beautiful for 1 yr 10daes..dusnt mean its gona b 4eva ..bt i wud try i wont do anything stupit so chill...i guess i hav dcided on ma life..hw i m gona pursue ma stuffs...n where wud i b ...anywae...nice noein u..thx u kp those memories wid u ok?hehe n rem I WAS E 1ST GURLLLL AHHAHAHA for mani tings ok?hehe gime tat honour goodbye .. if i were to see u eva again .. its jus gona b nothin bt frienship..goodbye to u ma most luvable kid...SORRY ... hehehe BYEEEEEEEEE....hehehe take care of urself tats e most impt thing n b happi in everythin u do ..ok?HAVE FUn bye as i sae if tis luv was meant to b it wud if not lolz...i dun care...neither do u so TATS IT e end .. end of chpter..

2004-08-25T19:35:00.000-07:00

ehheh BORING...V BORING YEST I JUS SAW MA REFLECTION SIA..liyana n amin her bf omg so leik me n chris n how we used to be n e foolish mistakes..n abt 2 diff pple well i believe tat 2 diff pple who have a common goal tats to luv n b wid each other for life is NOT AFTER ALL DIFF..see ur 5fingers r different..bt common thing is we can lift stuffs up cos of their diff length .. they r diff hence unique n r given a name each as in index finger blah blah if every finger were to b same n every human were to b e same ..then WHATS LIFE MAN...arghhh i hate it when pple sae esp coupple sae we cant sort out our difference..DATING TIME CAN LA .. FCUK MAN...no offence to liyana em i m tokin abt ma own life nw..argH FCUK LUV N FCUK LIFE ...LIFES A BITCH FCUK IT ...I GO HOME N TYPE I M V V ANGRI NOW

2004-08-23T08:49:00.000-07:00

hmmm well todae was jus a TOO GOOD TO B A TRUE DAE..dun ask me why...gods been realli kind to me ..i saw sumthin that i can nvr imagine..guess wat i went to sch earli as usual so i decided to pop by e bookshop scarly WHILE walkin there i saw tat sTUPIT GUY...n i started mumbling WAT A SHIT DAE EARLI MORN SEE HIM AGAIN...wait he tink i stalkin him i dun wana lead tat asshole on anywae...n then after tat he saw me n then i hid bhind e wall..hahah DUN ASK I DUNO Y SIA...n then i started runnin HAHAA duno y sia i realised e bookshop closed so to avoid tat guy i RAN all e wae to e fountain i was on e ledge n i cud actualli dip ma leg into e water n i was listenin to jessica simpsons i can let ma hair down song..N OMG GUESS WAT I was kinda feelin odd as in how am i gona go abt ma dae..n then OUT APPEARED A RAINBOW FRM NOWHERE..SHEESH I WAS LIEK SO GOD DAMN IT DUMBFOUNDED..SO BEAUTIFULLLL OMG SUmthin tat i wud nvr 4get ... i cud actualli reach out n touch it OMG SO BEAUTIFUL i mean its been ages n plus its jus infront of me ..HAHAH wat more cud i ask for ... tat rainbow made ma dae jus so good..n then its like...during break i saw fatimah tokin on e phone non stp i decided to go to e reservoir as i nvr been there b4 .. so i went all alone ... n GUESS WAT...I SAW TAT STUPIT GUY AGAIN... n i was so badly irritated sia the whole indian gang was sittin under tat shit thingin..i mean shelter i was liek so not bothered n i jus sat on e clifff..n i started tinkin abt beautiful experiences on e cliff n i jus smacked maself awake n i started to walk all e wae i onli came back after quite sum time...n then i told fatimah hey wana go i bring u go n then we went again bt tis time i started shoutin ma lungs out .. i tink tat stupit guy who i dun like saw it cos was preety nearby distance n guess wat...I BORROWED FATIMAH'S md... n I WAS JUS DANCIN n sittin on e cliff n suntannin HAHAHAH u wont belive it .. it was jus beautiful i had e wind blowin my hair off..SO NICE OMG...n then its liek i started singin so loud...bt i wasnt at all embarrassed...hahaha i nvr hav felt tat anywae..no diff..n then sudd v v long later its leik cos e ants n mosquitoes started crawlin under ma skirt i was so angri we left bt i felt so happi so light ..so much beautiful..its liek my whole confidence jus went up..n then guess wat..was all e wae a good dae...n best part..nxt week on i wud b home so bloody late abt 12 am..as erm i m joinin rugby n it ends quite late around 930...so its liek yea...anywae its liek i duno hai n then while goin home ma guy pal wanted to meet me n then we met at yishun toked and then i had to go as i have a test tom n its maths BT I TINK I M DOIN FINE well..hahah kp it up rekha...hahaha all i noe is tat E RAINBOW MADE MA DAE N THX U SWAMI LUV U ..

2004-08-23T08:39:00.000-07:00

tom so suay mus go sp... TAT CARRIE LA STUPIT LESBO LA SHE beta reimburse me tom for waitin at e cafe man she n her stupit sch cafe so ex..whoa mus wait for her till 4 so sianz sia later we goin hv as i dun wana stay in sp tat kuku sch...asshole man okok so tom i meetin her ... hai........suddd i dun wana go so badly...its liek hai duno la anywae sijia if u eva tink abt cumin ma sch my goin home wae is diff nw i hate e serangoon shit ...i go home by yishun so bloody peaceful omg so jus lovely...anywae am gettin a new hp camera phone so yea life is jus commentless..as usual...DUNO LA ... i guess i duno la ... too mani changes ...LOLZZ n i had a miscarridge..

2004-08-23T08:21:00.001-07:00

2004-08-23T08:21:00.000-07:00

2004-08-21T23:01:00.001-07:00

2004-08-21T05:52:00.000-07:00

well.i went to his house todae..long story dun wana tok abt anything anymore mind is so shut down...i did sumthin so stupit after meetin him ... n now pple tink i m a les for doin tat THXS TO CARRIE TAN TAT ASSHOLE OF COS...jus reached home..fcukin fcukin dun wana tok abt anything or tink abt anything...abt chris...hai dun ask le...i reali not in e mood..sorry to all of u guys in sch dun ask me le..all i noe is i tried too hard..n too bad..hehehe i dun wana tok abt it or anything le...cos if i m gona sae sumthin..its gona affect others..i tink its time i stpped tinkin of maself..bt i noe one thing though...GUYS ...I LUV U CAN SAE TO OTHER GURLS BT NOT ME...unless u wana ruin ur entire luv ..tis much i noe.. no offence to any1 ..infact chris thxs 4 everything i had a beautiful year wid u ... n its in ma memory always....i guess its hard as i nvr been tis close to any1 in ma life..bt i guess...its jus ma life no1 is to blame..i should have jus shut to being tat gurl who was affected by everythin since childhood.bt honestly tis 1 yr u realli brought me thrugh alot ... esp when everythin was so down durin o level.god blessed me once bt cant b blessin me eva again...i m glad u were ma bf ... i can nvr get tis feelings back wid any1 ... tis much i can confirm.. bt jus tot of tellin u u e most special ass i eva met...n tc alright swami bless u n granny wud tc of u ... n i miss ur granny's cooking n pls ask her tc as she is sick.. i wud pray 4 her...n chris dun blame urself anymore...i seen enuff... its got nothin to do wid u .. i dun blame u nor any1 does .. e person god is tryin to play wid here is not u bt me so tc ..luv ya .. anywae wanted to sae tis i asked carrie ma closest asshole pal if i luv vin more or u more... n she said u more cos vin i always criticise abt him bt i always tok abt sweet memo wid u ... welll i tink tat no1 made ma life feel tis special nor any1 made me feel special or gave any special importance to me .. all i knew was my mum's luv tats all..thxs u for showin me e wae ...i owe u a big one..

2004-08-19T02:26:00.000-07:00

# to chris this song tats playin in e background is dedicated to u n only u ..hope u erm...dun mind
bt e truth it i realli wana b wid u ..listen hard to e lyrics ok i mean it wid all ma heart n wid e last penny i have..

2004-08-18T19:18:00.000-07:00

oh damn i was so into wateva i said i 4got e most impt ting well chris heres to uwe may seem far apart , we may even have parted..i may seem to b liek e most understandin bitch evau may have said tings in anger..we may both have said sumthin...to hurt one anothern done things that make each other feel uneasi nhad our fair share of bitterness sourness n sweetnesswe are onli human ...gods creation...we are..e luv too was god creation..it jus cant come n jus go suddenly...if you cud gime a chance..take it as if i m going down on my feet..let me take your hand..i dun wana be walking alonei wana b walking bside u..i dun wana b smiling alone i wana b smiling wid ui dun wana lost u 4eva cos of myself..i regret it so muchchris..we been thrugh it mani times i noe...chris dun give uptis is god's onli gift to me other than ma parents its god giftto ma parents n me ..dun take it awae..pls hold ma hand n dun let it go..walk down e aisle..n let e same hand holdanjali and yaash..n let their same hand walk us down our golden yearsn rem our daes like tis ones..its not e sweetness that makes it going bt everything..i dun wana let u go 4 anything da..tats e stupitest mistake i can do..i yearn to b wid u not everydaebt jus yearn to take your hand one min of a weekgrant me tis n tis is e world's biggest gift u can give..dun let it go onion..dun eva sae its not worth it...we made it tis far..we can make it till e end of life...dun give up on me da..dun..call me a dog...bt let me hold ur hand n b wid u for e rest of ma life..w/o any bother..gime a cahnce...millions u have granted wats tis one moregime a cahnce to show u how luv works miracles..pls honey...I DUN WANA Lose u anymore...i cant fake it ...i luv u i luv u i luv u i luv u i luv u i luv u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss ujus dun let our luvs go...pls we croosed each other..dun uncross e bond pls pls its in ur handsits in ur hands...my life ...dun throw it awae..MUACKZZ....if it eva crooses ur mind let me tell uwe tot of mani dreams..i wana b bside u when u graduate..n wear ur graduation coat..i wana see u graduate frm uni..i wana see u tell me sweetheart i made it n that dreams aint impossible to achieve..recently i too started havin dreams..seems tat my course can go ntu biz course..i decided if we r gona walk togetha ... lets study..u study i study u spend time wid ur pal i spend time wid mine..i promise...no changes...bt at least on sundae when u can make it taat is ..jus have time at ma place for lunch ...rest of e daes is urs .. i promise..mum luvs u da..at least one dae if u can spare mus b wid her ok ehhehe...i dun need to see u anymore..i have learnt abt bgr real luv ..i dun have to see u everydae to b in tis bgr .. my luv for u ...n e most impt thing is we get to do wat we luv..share moments wid our dearest ones..pals..reminiscize e dumb moments in class..get embarassed by ur pals in front of ur gf...abt u not even being able to carry WEIGHTS...hahha n of cos if u have time...jus a dae wid me .. chit chat share our dreams.. mani pple failed trying,..bt y fail even b4 trying..i noe we tried mani times bt then my mentality wasnt as BRIGHT as tis time..its jus leik crying wolf..i cried wolf so mani times..tat u dun belief me anymore bt now honestly wolf has come pls pls pls beggging u dun let go ...we can do it togetha for once let me share it wid u da pls ... lets b togetha 4eva..not let this space thing affect u pls chris i wud make it happen .. honestly i see it everything..dun go at tis time when i need u e most da..dun ...jus liek ex a smoker.. hmm he claims to quit bt bhind he dusnt n when finalli he gets caught..he realises to change bt every1else leavees him..chris i believed u came all e wae wid u da...tis time wud u cum wid me da?my dearest onion...dun even noe if u fine da..shitty man i feel..dun even noe if u r eating well..chris pls chris...u r my baby pls dun da..i m feelin e same loss a mum wud feel if she has lost her child..i still wana b wid u as i wan to blow farts at ur face esp when u sleep ehhe..take on trips wid u to kl n have a foam bath...lolz.n to call u coackroach n chase u around e house..n to see ur act cute side..I REALLI MISS U DA E REAL U i miss u...DUN LET ANYTHIN IN E WORLD TAKE TAT AWAE FRM u ..n i miss ur dumb smile e mickeymouse smile..i miss taking ur drinks whne u r not noticing at gokul..hehe i miss crapping wid u n i miss annoying u by huggin u when u r sleeping or puttin ma leg on u..n i miss huggin u n sleeping..i miss bullyin u ..i miss u makin fun of me in front of ma parents..i miss us sitting down as a family dining.. i miss us askin wat to eat nxt rite after a meal..i miss asking u where to go next..i miss pushing e toilet door open when u shit..ahaha i miss u callin me GOONDU..n i miss u saein goondu i luv u goondu dun leave me goondu...(crying...e most beautiful thing any1 had said man..)n i miss u smackin ma butt.miss u eatin my food though it sux,miss u askin y sudd u so good to me wat u wan...i miss watchin indian shows n criticisin em wid u ... i miss listenin to u tok abt ur dreams..i miss e wae u talk when u r irritated n sae go awae la ... n then start smiling,..i miss u saeing thx u aunty and uncle e stuff is nice WHEN ITS Not..i miss u saeing hi aunty how r u .. i miss u saein uncle tc ..i miss u saein aunty dun worry swami bless u.. i miss u saein REKHA STUDY STP PLAYIING..i miss u saeing rekha look at tis tis is so kewl..i miss u saein eh can come n tok to my parents for me todae..hahaha n most importantly i miss U...jus u ..i noe after reading tis u r gona blow ..bt sorry n 4give me ... its u who told me to nvr lie to u n b frank n honest..MY Mum misses ur sai ram,misses u complimentin her food..my dad misses ur POLITICAL VIEW TALKS ABT SPORE..hahaha n ur condemnings abt SPORE GOVT..ehhe we all miss u our doors are always open for u da..luv u chris if u r mad pls dun call me n scream at me ..i miss u alot tok to me if u can ok..dun sae u hate me more or anything..jus u noe ask how i m ..i wud b happi....ok..dun scold me pls ..i dint mean to irritate u by typin ma heart..its been v long since i let it all go out of ma heart..i dun wana regret not saein anythin to u ..so tats y i m pouring it all out weather to u it makes sense or not tis is my heart..n once again sorry 4 hurting u ..luv u
Posted by: rekha / 4:12 AM

2004-08-18T04:12:00.000-07:00

oh damn i was so into wateva i said i 4got e most impt ting well chris heres to u

we may seem far apart , we may even have parted..
i may seem to b liek e most understandin bitch eva
u may have said tings in anger..
we may both have said sumthin...to hurt one another
n done things that make each other feel uneasi n
had our fair share of bitterness sourness n sweetness
we are onli human ...
gods creation...we are..e luv too was god creation..
it jus cant come n jus go suddenly...
if you cud gime a chance..
take it as if i m going down on my feet..
let me take your hand..i dun wana be walking alone
i wana b walking bside u..
i dun wana b smiling alone i wana b smiling wid u
i dun wana lost u 4eva cos of myself..i regret it so much
chris..we been thrugh it mani times i noe...chris dun give up
tis is god's onli gift to me other than ma parents its god gift
to ma parents n me ..dun take it awae..
pls hold ma hand n dun let it go..
walk down e aisle..n let e same hand hold
anjali and yaash..
n let their same hand walk us down our golden years
n rem our daes like tis ones..its not e sweetness that makes it going bt everything..
i dun wana let u go 4 anything da..tats e stupitest mistake i can do..
i yearn to b wid u not everydae
bt jus yearn to take your hand one min of a week
grant me tis n tis is e world's biggest gift u can give..
dun let it go onion..dun eva sae its not worth it...we made it tis far..
we can make it till e end of life...dun give up on me da..dun..
call me a dog...bt let me hold ur hand n b wid u for e rest of ma life..
w/o any bother..gime a cahnce...millions u have granted wats tis one more
gime a cahnce to show u how luv works miracles..pls honey...
I DUN WANA Lose u anymore...i cant fake it ...
i luv u i luv u i luv u i luv u i luv u i luv u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u
jus dun let our luvs go...pls we croosed each other..dun uncross e bond pls pls its in ur hands
its in ur hands...my life ...dun throw it awae..MUACKZZ....if it eva crooses ur mind let me tell u
we tot of mani dreams..i wana b bside u when u graduate..n wear ur graduation coat..i wana see u graduate frm uni..i wana see u tell me sweetheart i made it n that dreams aint impossible to achieve..recently i too started havin dreams..seems tat my course can go ntu biz course..i decided if we r gona walk togetha ... lets study..u study i study u spend time wid ur pal i spend time wid mine..i promise...no changes...bt at least on sundae when u can make it taat is ..jus have time at ma place for lunch ...rest of e daes is urs .. i promise..mum luvs u da..at least one dae if u can spare mus b wid her ok ehhehe...i dun need to see u anymore..i have learnt abt bgr real luv ..i dun have to see u everydae to b in tis bgr .. my luv for u ...n e most impt thing is we get to do wat we luv..share moments wid our dearest ones..pals..reminiscize e dumb moments in class..
get embarassed by ur pals in front of ur gf...abt u not even being able to carry WEIGHTS...hahha n of cos if u have time...jus a dae wid me .. chit chat share our dreams.. mani pple failed trying,..bt y fail even b4 trying..i noe we tried mani times bt then my mentality wasnt as BRIGHT as tis time..its jus leik crying wolf..i cried wolf so mani times..tat u dun belief me anymore bt now honestly wolf has come pls pls pls beggging u dun let go ...we can do it togetha for once let me share it wid u da pls ... lets b togetha 4eva..not let this space thing affect u pls chris i wud make it happen .. honestly i see it everything..dun go at tis time when i need u e most da..dun ...jus liek ex a smoker.. hmm he claims to quit bt bhind he dusnt n when finalli he gets caught..he realises to change bt every1else leavees him..chris i believed u came all e wae wid u da...tis time wud u cum wid me da?my dearest onion...dun even noe if u fine da..shitty man i feel..dun even noe if u r eating well..chris pls chris...u r my baby pls dun da..i m feelin e same loss a mum wud feel if she has lost her child..i still wana b wid u as i wan to blow farts at ur face esp when u sleep ehhe..take on trips wid u to kl n have a foam bath...lolz.n to call u coackroach n chase u around e house..n to see ur act cute side..I REALLI MISS U DA E REAL U i miss u...DUN LET ANYTHIN IN E WORLD TAKE TAT AWAE FRM u ..n i miss ur dumb smile e mickeymouse smile..i miss taking ur drinks whne u r not noticing at gokul..hehe i miss crapping wid u n i miss annoying u by huggin u when u r sleeping or puttin ma leg on u..n i miss huggin u n sleeping..i miss bullyin u ..i miss u makin fun of me in front of ma parents..i miss us sitting down as a family dining.. i miss us askin wat to eat nxt rite after a meal..i miss asking u where to go next..i miss pushing e toilet door open when u shit..ahaha i miss u callin me GOONDU..n i miss u saein goondu i luv u goondu dun leave me goondu...(crying...e most beautiful thing any1 had said man..)n i miss u smackin ma butt.miss u eatin my food though it sux,miss u askin y sudd u so good to me wat u wan...i miss watchin indian shows n criticisin em wid u ... i miss listenin to u tok abt ur dreams..i miss e wae u talk when u r irritated n sae go awae la ... n then start smiling,..i miss u saeing thx u aunty and uncle e stuff is nice WHEN ITS Not..i miss u saeing hi aunty how r u .. i miss u saein uncle tc ..i miss u saein aunty dun worry swami bless u.. i miss u saein REKHA STUDY STP PLAYIING..i miss u saeing rekha look at tis tis is so kewl..i miss u saein eh can come n tok to my parents for me todae..hahaha n most importantly i miss U...jus u ..i noe after reading tis u r gona blow ..bt sorry n 4give me ... its u who told me to nvr lie to u n b frank n honest..MY Mum misses ur sai ram,misses u complimentin her food..my dad misses ur POLITICAL VIEW TALKS ABT SPORE..hahaha n ur condemnings abt SPORE GOVT..ehhe we all miss u our doors are always open for u da..luv u chris if u r mad pls dun call me n scream at me ..i miss u alot tok to me if u can ok..dun sae u hate me more or anything..jus u noe ask how i m ..i wud b happi....ok..dun scold me pls ..i dint mean to irritate u by typin ma heart..its been v long since i let it all go out of ma heart..i dun wana regret not saein anythin to u ..so tats y i m pouring it all out weather to u it makes sense or not tis is my heart..n once again sorry 4 hurting u ..luv u

2004-08-18T03:21:00.000-07:00

hmm back to ma own space..haiii well instead of goin to yishun ehhehe i followed fatimah back by mrt toot toot train to cityhall..argh..ask me why did i go hahaha..i understand u peepz mus b tinkin iss she mad?she used to frequent there wid chris..ahhaha well..ermm..hahah jus felt leik chattint wid her la so yea..followed her la dun ask me y i gt no idea..all i noe is i did follow her met her bf n his best pal n then sudd i brought fatimah into tis shop n i started searchin for sumthin n finalli i found it...dun ask me wat i m not gona sae till e dae is ripe...hai anywae her bf came la so i e bf n his best pal n her we all walked la i told em i takin a bus frm marina sq la so yea hehe being at cityhall jus felt so odd..hehehe e lonliness ..not tat its jus odd ..w/o him ..gawd..
n as i walked out of marina e steps down e nxt thing i knew was i broke into tears i was all alone la i left em le ..i broke into tears..cudnt take it ..i was lookin ova at marina promanade sudd i jus stpped n tot of him saein he regrets e moment..hmmm well n guess wat i didnt realise sumthin was infront of me e bushes or flowers n almost fell into it hahaha...i was jus walking and yeah .. waited 4 bus felt so odd 1st thing 1st was wheres ma onion n then i loooked up to esplanade i saw mirchi.hahahha i realli cudnt take it i cried..u pple mus b tinkin i cry baby..well anything u sae..
i didnt get to celeb my anni wid him eva since he went india on e 11th mth 12th mth n suay enuf my 1 yr also e dae i was waitin 4 also didnt get to spend wi dhim..oh gawd..now gona b 1yr 1mth bt i so bloody hell wish u noe i realli do have a wish call me crazy dumb anything..mayb if he see tis he wud b boiling already saein y dun u understand i dun luv u ..bt well its a dream a dream tat will nvr cum true..wish on e 3rd of sept he wud come outside my sch..n jus shock me..weath
er or not he has anythin in his hand i dun care jus gettin to see him ma onion n honey always jus perks ma dae..sumore its been 5 daes..lolzz e worsest feeling to noe tat hes e one n not able to have him no more cos of ur own stupit mistakes..bt honestly not as if i m standin up for ma self or anythin..i cant belief he gt back cos he pitied me n we even ..made out...hahahahaha WHOW..
well hurtz...bt yea...as much as i wan him back so badly tat much he dusnt wan me back...
i luv him .. i look at his pic n tell him everydae when i wake up n b4 i go to bed n i jus feel him bside me ..bt...anywae i told ma mum e truth not reali la she ask me did ram at least call u todae
n i went leik i dun care la ..n she was liek oh u all quarrel arr i was leik no la duno la dun carel..
n she went leik hey ram luvs u if he dusnt call u mayb its sumthin y dun u give it time .. n then she said she trusts his luv 4 me .. n that she has faith in him...she said she luvs him and me and
always sees us as a pair..n she told me ram luvs jus bcos he said sumthin bad dusnt mean he dun luv u n sae tat tis is common in bgr n she said she noes hes not e type who goes out find another gal unlike all my exs..n said dun worry hes god gift to our family n patted ma back... AT THAT Moment i so badly wanted to cry
my eyes were flooding...its leik i didnt expect tis frm her ..cmon la my hope n faith in him jus died u noe bt when ma mum said that i was leik omg...she realli luvs him n wans us togetha n she believes him..bt then deep down i noe tat as much as i wish its true..it wud nvr 1st thing 1st
if everythin in life for her were to b perfect i shudnt have been born..2nd thing is i shudnt have pulled a guy in ma life n jinxed his life..3rdly i jinxed ma own life took awae my own hapiness frm me..4thly..jinxed to b sad all ma life..duno y man duno y ... my pefect family is so ruined
every sundae lunch n dinner is not e same ...everythins so ruined..as much as i wish i cud turn back time i cant anymore..chris hates me too much ..i m nutting bt a bitch i guess as much as i dun wana belief it bt hai i duno man i wish i cud read his heart..u noe till noe my heart tellin me to 4give n saein tat dun give up on tis bgr.l..pple want to work out 2mths already so hard..u been thrugh shit wid him n u wana give up jus bcos of him shoutin all e nasty tings to u ?i tot n tot bt then i felt so shameful..its leik a guy realli die die dun wan me bt i am leik so ...he mus b hating me man ...i duno sia..my heart tells me he luvs me he said tat out of moment of shit ...n stress.
n also cos his strong backup of support frm his best pal..last time we break up will patch in hours..n b happi bt now no more ...as much as i u noe try i m so scared sia ..feel leik callin him so badly bt i cant..hes jus gona shout at me i cant take it..i jus wish he can jus tok to me all same
how i wish he wud come back..bt i hate myself tis time round so much...so bloody much...
i jus lost e luv of ma life man tat much i noe...i cant do anythin anymore if he luvs me n if e 1yr luv was true..one dae he wud come back i hope ...if he dusnt...all i can do is wait..cry..nothin else..
wait 4 ma parents to leave me all alone n then i also leave tis world...since young i wanted a happi family so thxful tat chris came ..although he didnt wan me in e end..at least i was such a nice guy's gf once ...in fact marridge happened..hahaha bt i guess it dusnt matter to him anymore hai...i duno man my feeling are this 1 yr plus not mani pple can have such a bgr though it was sour n sweet n bitter..u see i m not perfect no1 is as much as i can try at least i take e effort..jus bcos i make a mistake again i noe u 4given me so mani times..for e same thing..n to u we mite b different..THERES ONE THING TATS e same...if u truly luved me ...the onli one thing we have thats strong n common is e luv...i luv u leik nothing..its equal to my parents..
i luv u so much..even if u scream at me i wud come back to u cos u r my owner..as much as u wana give my heart back..i still wud come back..u r my world..n owner..n e one..i built dreams of yaash anjali u my parents n me togetha livin a happi life..i duno if it will happen..bt i dun wana let u go cos of my stupidity..if u 4give me once 4give me twice 4give me thrice n hundreds..bt instead of 4giving ..can u help me ? u have helped me a million times..bt help me tis time around by not refusing me anymore...i wana so badly grow old wid u da..have kids wid u ..see u grow old n tok abt ur burps to my kids n grandkids..n tell em our luv story..cos one dae when we look back all tis will jus b nothing bt laughter..i dun wana lose u at all i dun wana lose u 4 nothin in e world..even if u cant grant me e chance of being a real mother..its ok..even if u hate me for saeyin all tis its ok...even if u tink i make no sense or even if u tink u hate me so much tat u wana kill me its ok ... krishanth ram arvin i luv u n onli u ..even if i take e last breath its gona b u ..u can scold me scream at me call me anything..bt all my heart saes is u n u n onli u ...i wud b stupit if i call u a bastard cos honey i noe u honey...i noe i hurt u badly...we put in so much to build tis dun let it go down..pls onion...if u tink u wan me yaash anjali..n my parents..n kirby n gloria..chris dun let go...onion for once let me honestly get u back...pls..i noe u r tryin to make me hate u ..u can sae u dun wan me to call u or see u anymore wel even if i cant i m following it i dun wana upset u ...bt u cant hold me back frm saeyin i luv u ... e dae i brought u in my doorstep i told ma self u r e one i m gona marry...eeven if its gona b hell..i told maself..for e luv of ma life..
i wud always luv him ...u can b meat eater i dun care..honey jus dun dun dun eva sae goodbye...
my luv 4 u hasnt died a bit infact grown..if i hate u for u callin me those names yest i dun tink theres any meaning in our 1yr plus relationship..chris i luv u honey...theres no wae u can make me hate u my luv is too strong wae too strong..even if u kill me ... my soul wud still b saein ram..
i dun wana lose u for e unhappi times..i luv u n we can work it out dun b rash..i noe u r not..bt honestly for once i noe mani once have gone bt chris..dun onion dun dun eva make tis mistake tat mite seem not like a mistake to u ..onion i torture u onion bt truely deeply i luv u ...n onli u..
i noe u wud nvr get to see tis..bt yea..jus tot of pouring out my feelings..sorry chris jus wish i wasnt born as jinx..i not onli jinxed my family,u n myself too...duno who else i m gona jinx ..

2004-08-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

hmm...as much as i wana sae no...........HE JUS INSISTED SO BADLy so STRONGLy on it..whats tat it?hahaha wat else sumthing that happens to me all e time ..BREAK UP........well wat went wrong...all eyes are on me siah ehhee..and fingerz were also pointed at me..heheh i m alwyas e ruiner anywae no diff..sudd feel so jinxed abt everything..i so jinxed to my family till i jinxed my own life too..ahahah god u created me 4 wat sia..u are jus crippling me so badly tat much u got to noe..testing ma luv?NO.. i dun tink so my luv 4 him wud nvr change even if its gona b for mths or years or wateva so for..e onli ting i have yet to convey to him or let him see is sumthin..
after saeing it i wud have ma peace of ma mind..for now i m in sch cant concentrate much here..jus finished ma lab was tinkin of him bt stpped ma tears..i wud luv to thx fatimah n her bf for goin thrugh this wid me esp yest after e phonecall frm him ..n i wud luv to thx my pal liana n fadzlin 4 being there 4 me ...duno y bt nvr felt tis devasted can sae tat life is jus breaking up so badly for me ..nothing is goin smooth..everything is jus crushhing down liek how twin tower came crushin ...its too late i am tinking tats wat he said too..bt wat i wana sae 4 now is i 4give him for not noeing wat he was talking i dun tink he realise waht he was blabbering as he was v v angry..mayb he got a wish tat i wud hate him bt even despite that bitch name calling..it hurt la realli hurt leik shit bt OH GAWD I GOTA GO I BRB AT NITE AT HOME CHAO anywae blog wish me goodluck at sch n hope i gt peace of mind later i goin to fatimah to yishun n back to home hope everythin wud b fine ...get back wid u at nite for more shit

2004-05-25T05:42:00.000-07:00

hai well i 4got to update for 3 daes inclusive of todae so yea lets do 3 in one short well on sundae his sis called n then wat happened was e dae b4 i onli slept at 5am plus ehhehe bt its ok i promisd to go out wid her so yeah so b it went out wid her to orchard hmm WELL SHE TOLD ME IT SUXED THOUGH LA so wat happened was she grabbed a bite frm mac n then bought her curry pufff n famous amous n drink la nvm la my treat its ok ehhe i owe her one anywae hai so yea then while abt goin home she complained leg v vpain so ok fine brought her to food court sit down n then b4 tat after eatin cookies i lehceh cnat find toilet so i went in to e timberland store n started touchin e jacket she was leik hmm ok n then i told her moroan i m rubbin my hands hlp ur self ehhe BRANDED CLOTHES WID MY TOUCH OF AMOUS COOKIES HEHE eheh lolz n she started lauffin all e wae n then go home liao la hehe b4 tat we went zaara try short skirts all ahahha lolz hehe after tat yeah lah went home i saw her to e rtc bus stp send her off 1st n then went home missin my honey badly bt yea n yeah n then mondae right yest hmm i went to jeevi's place met her pal siti HAHAH no comments tis one my bf come back n then i sae n yeah after tat left for prayer stuff at everton went to everton to help pack e stuff for e regional convention bt then go there ended up o yeah b4 tat met ranjana she gave me her weddin invitation n i told her abt me n my bf n then we toked abtstuffs n then later left 4 everton frm scotts coffee bean n then o yea n then bt we went there right so late le so ended up not packin antyhin left for home at 10 plus n reached home at 11plus n then went to bed tot abt my honey bt yea n slept .. n todae i n my parents went serangoon to makan half wae we saw my old lady who is e granny la n then we ended up eatin togetha n then after she left n we went to enquire abt goin to india bt sadly all flights are booked so yea n then went to yishun by cab to watch e AYITHA YEZHUTU AGAIN LA wid parents ahahha AS USUAL I MISSED 10 M INS OF E SHOW ARGHHH ehhe bt tis time i UNDERSTOOD IT IT WAS GOOD SUDD HALF WAE I WAS TINKIN ABT MY DARLING cos of this surya n e hindi gal couple la e song i liek so i tot of him n then NXT TING I REALISED HE CALLED ME OVERSEAS SO I RAN OUT OF E CINEMA N TOKED TO HIM i realised he was cryin hmm wwell i was strong tis time around hmm sudd yea la n then i went to north point to tahpau bannana leaf rubbish n then came back home sudd missin him bt then i tink hes missin me more weird eh i guess i eevrydae wid him didnt realise i needed a break free n now tat v long nvr see or tok to him feels leik life goes on n i realised actualli i can go on without any1 jus tat i was too dependent hai i guess when he comes back i dun wana torture him alot i can return him back to his pals i wont feel a thing anymore cos i guess i realised mani tings tis few daes n i luv him so i guess my waes wud automaticalli cahnge when hes back plus i tink he misses his pals more la anywae hai no comments ehhe anywae wish hes ok la anywae hai tats abt it

2004-05-22T05:59:00.000-07:00

hmm todae is e 22nd sat well went to see e new tamil movie SUPRISING ME IN TAMIL MOVIE AHAHHA WELL EVERY1 HAS A 1ST TIME EHHE anywae was nice BT HAD NO HEAD NOR TAIL OR MAYb perhaps i missed 15 mins of e head tot it was 3pm bt it was 245 ahhaa lolz anywae ALOT OF INDIANS AS USUAL cudnt stp criticising all e UGLi asses n posser n wana b n sum indian BENGS N LIANS ALL SCRAPPOS anywae yUCKZ la anywae e movie I STILL DUN understand madhavan took on e v v rowdish roll sumthin diff bt REALLI rellai confusin though wat happened to madhavan's wife n trisha wtf man NO IDEA LA bad la e movie e song n e scene they took NO RESEMBLENCE AT ALL SUCKI SIA ... SPOILT IT ALL LA hai BOYS WAS WAE BETTA ANYWAE MY HANDSUM MUNNA WAS IN IT O MANNNNNN WAT A HUNKY BOI EHHE anywae heng bf isnt here lolz anywae i was hopin he'd call bt i guess he wudnt cos so leh ceh mus go other village jus pray everythings fine its 9plus pm now at 1030 leavin my house to fetch my dad frm e airport he's arrivin at 1am though hai MISS HIM LEIK HELL MAN hopefulli now mum wud b back to her usual self no more TEARS...hai one come one go hai waitin 4 my onion to b bak on e 5th hai sad man gota wait 2 more sat b4 he come back hai.... missing him badly bt i guess i cant jus sit down n cry no more gota carry on .... m gona take tis time to find myself ... anywae i realised tat tings tat have been happenin btw me n him e quarrels its all related to me n my xbf its e karma i rem last time his x gf wanted so badly to patch wid him bt i came along n he n me were so close still rem e shit .. i kinda am figuring out loads of things recently .. hai when i come back guess i gota give him his fair share of freedom i bet he dusnt onli miss me bt his pals too...hai i guess i shud b independent n not depend on my bf or pals .. my pals r havin their own life all got bf n sch life all too bz for me n also i dun wish to distb i guess even if its w/o pals life goes on n i guess its time i took up sum stuffs or perhpas leik nxt mon i mite b goin down to sai ctr to help out do seva .. hmm jus gona b wat i used to b mayb .. all alone bt still dusnt mean life cant go on .. jus gota learn to take a new route...n enjoy in doin even e smallest thing.. anywae bon voyage to my naina todae n yea tc n i luv my onion hope he has eaten n is not gettin any darker or i m dumping HIM LOL;Z ehhe lolz more leik he dump me eheh okok bye

2004-05-21T08:03:00.000-07:00

FCUKIN HELL HATING LIFE I dun wana lie no more by saein I M NOT CRYin i been cryin since he left yest 20may for india its leik WTF man since then i feel liek my other half life has left me everythingss so amiss nothin is in place ..shit man its like my dad's finalli comin back tom at 1am 23rd may ..........o gawddd since yest i left e aiport nothin was right thx god i had vanitha his cousin she n me were in e airport till 923n i boarded e bus evenetualli o man ... goddddd hai i tink i m bitching too much bt yea so last nite after airport bought potattoe chips magazine n mineral h20 bt i dint end up touchin any of it on e bus ... mayb a lil potatoe chips n yea vanitha was on her HP whole dae long wid sum guy .. anywae after tat went to yishun ate vegetarian mee siam was v v good bt onli hadd leik 3 spoons of it n threw awae .. was too much tears(frm eyes)consumin cos was supa spicy .,.n yea vanita ate glutanious rice n then i reach home at 11pm she saw me to e interchange at yishun i boarded e bus went home n then my pal claled me n sudd at 12plus vanitha called me scared e SHIT OUT OF ME SIA n then she toked to me abt how a gal shudnt b possesive n all cos i tink as far as i m concerned hav been ova possesive with chris n been holdin on too tight n vanitha tok till i slept on e phone n eventualli she decided to let me go ahhaha at 215 my other pal jeevita called sae wat time to meet tom as in todae so we met n yea i went to sleep preety late plus was hopin my honey wud clal bt nvm .. i understand ... n o yea todae jeevita came b4 her my granny came to deliver food n then jeevi came we ate a lil n helped her out wid her maths THOUGH MINE IS SUPA ATROCIOUS bt i did help her out n then we exercised solid solid n toked abt alot of stuff abt alot alot of things ... like operation cost 100000 calculatin it i gota save 500 a mth n so has he n then in like one year its 12000 one year if we both add it up n 8 yrs to save 100000 n plus allot of nonsense la HAI i was V V stress its so late he finalli called abt 7plus bt he told me to tc n he luv me n miss me dint even get to tok for a min was v v quick cos e phone was in other village n plus his granny was hurryin him fcuk man now its 11pm here i miss him v v badly n hai jus cant stp cryin feelin sumthin is so bloody amiss hai I LUV U RAM N PLS PLS I REALLI DO hope u r fine .. duno how m i gona go on for e next 13 daes bt yea its v v tough esp when i n him kp meetin every dae n tokin everydae even when sleepin we sleep on e phone togetha now its liek hai ... i jus miss him so much ... sai ram

2004-05-15T21:37:00.000-07:00

well hello..hmm well erm we HAVe broKEn UP....hehe lolz i noe its not funni bt its jus funni on how life wrks anywae n anyhow i jus wish him best of luck n yea life goes on n its onli gona make me strong I guess anywae ...9MTHS fllew by realli fast... hmm wondering if me being in any relationship wud do pple good or bring more harm ehehe sudd i feel leik e sun tat rises in my life jus failed to rise todae ..hmm life goes oN Then i remind myself..hmmm y do pple get into relationship?n y dus it hurt so much .....9mths have definately created a positive impact in my life esp i came to realise alot abt myself thrugh Others...i aint as good as i tink i mite or as u tink i mite b actuallli theres more to it n i guess e guy who went thrugh tis 9mths wid me wud noe it ... its leik every1 saes i luv u bt when its a fite pple dun sae tat anymore pple treat u leik enemy n tok abt wateva u confided in em abt once..tats amazing u luv me bt u tok bad abt me ehehehe lolz wat a luv .. bt i guess its our human beings nature at tis moment i reali wish i can tell him not to come todae bt too bad .. sudd its like Y did i even start it out if i knew i was gona long end it one dae.. wasnt it a waste of everythin n unescessary hurt ...apart frm e luv tat u saW iN E eYES..suMTIMES i wish i had sum1 to understand bt wat is there to understand when sum1 told u everythin bad abt urself eeven when u were tryin so hard to peace it btw u guys... 1st mistake to relationship is u sae i luv u when u noe u r gona leave him or her..2nd mistake..sae i luv u bt when we fite I HATE u 3rd mistake...y make promises when u noe u cnat kp it ... 4th mistake ...y let pple trust u wehn u noe u cant kp it .. 5th mistake...if its always abt U u U U when isit HER OR Him OR us ..
6TH MISTAKE...y hit him or her when all they did was to talk ...
7th mistake ....y sae sumthin bad 1stly when u noe theres gona b a balance brought down.. 8th mistake ... TAT APPLIES TO ME ESP ... WHY FEEL UPTIGHT NOW WHEN U NOE ITS OVA...Y SAE DUN LEAD ME ON WHEN U WANA B LEDED.. Y SAE DUN COME AFTER ME WHEN U WAN IT BADLY why sae I M STRONG WHEN U R TUMBLING DOWN ..WHY SAE END IT WHEN U DUN WANA ..WHY FEEL TIS WAE when u noe they dun care no more.. HMM i wish i had e reasons 4 all tis ... as much as i try to b strong i cant .. everythings breaking awae .. e cause WAS TAT DAE WHEN i try to finali peace it out HE SAES U SAID IT SO MANI TIMES...WHY !!!!!!!!!!!!!I MEAN y cant a person b nice when u realli need it so badly ...U noe hw MUCH he or she means to u bt Y B CRUEL AT TIMES.. TAT U EVEN SWEAR TAT U DUN LUV HIM OR HER whY!!!IS TIS wat e INITIAL LUV IS ABT .. WAT GAVE 4 ALL TIS TO HAPPEN WAT MADE IT HAPPEN E CAUSE...?top ten causes 4 break up

1 .. u intro ur BEST pal as ur x crush in front of em both
2... u saE IT durin quarrels tat UR PAL IS MORE IMPT THAN ur gf or bf
3... when U HOLD SUM1S HAND OR HAVE ANY FORM OF BODY CONTACT WID E PERSON WHEN U R IN A BGR B IT U A GAL TO GAL OR BOI TO BOI .. (PPLE GET IT )
4... IF a person is told to look at e wae ur pal is supposed to look at n U NOEING IT bt u look at sum1 differently frm e pals its imposssible...
5... y KP HELpin sum1 else rather than ur own BF OR GF
6... now even if u call em sis or bro .. ITS STILl e memories tat stays ...n its not helping cos ... IF U PUT URSELF IN E SAME SITUATION U WUD NOE
7... as much as e person tries to change THERE MAYb still quite alot of things tat take lOADS OF TIMES AS IN ACCEPTIN CERTAIN THINGS N IT MAY CAUSE SUM1 TO GET ANGRI BT E OTHER PARTY SHUD LET IT OFF..
8..SUM1 HAS TO LET IT GOO..IF U KP TINKIN TAT U R ALWAYS E ONE SO WHEN ISSIT GONA B U R NOT E ONE ..
I DUNO OK BT as much as i tried to patch it all up ... IF SUM1 CAN ACTUALLI HURT ME N I CAN ACTUALLI GO BACK N EVERYTIME AS MUCH AS I TRY IT STILL IS NOT WRKING N I GET EMBARRASED IN PUBLIC BLA BLA THEN ITS NVR TO B ...SO GOODBYE !

2004-04-24T00:43:00.000-07:00

SingaPORE.......
clean and green city... democratic society...efficient town planning...
SO CALLED E MOST DEVELOPED COUNTRY IN ASIA.... RICH.......

CLEAN AND green?wat is serangoon road...chinatown....geylang....?PLAces of intrestz in SingApore...n how CLeaN n GREEn r THEy AL i can see is BlacK WATEr dRAinZ...Andd OF COS green MOuLDY PLACES..n TOurISts CUm HERE...most of e added attractions on their tour lists is :SENTOSA,ZOO,BLAH BLAH ETC.... wat abt BANDAMEER OR WAT ABT e back of cf chinatown dun tell me this places dun hold historic values...Lolz....So tourISts Dun EVa B FOOled by CLEAN and GREEn cos ITS MORE LIEK CLEAN AND GREEN PLACES WHERE E GOVT STAYS n E CitiZeNS WHo r POOR r STAYIn IN E BLacK N mOULdy PLACES...LOlz

DEMocratic society??????YEA sure so democratic tat we can have all have a sae in e runnin of govt... give our opinions n NOT END UP IN JAIL!...No sPIEs In hONG LiM parK.. n NO GOVT CONTROL OF E COUNTRY ... its Up to uS e PPLE or e citizens of e country..
e govt here dun take a single cent esp when it comes to education ..tats Y eeven PPLE WID BAD MARKS MAKE IT THRUGh underhand money givin ... N ALSOOO... if UR dad contributes A FEW K u wud DEFINATELY GAIN A SEAT IN SCHOOL....n PPLE WHO CANT AFFORD THEIR EDUCATION COS ITS TOO EXPENSIVE ESP AFTER O LEVELS THEY DUN DROP OUT COS GOVT PROVIDES IT ALL FOR EM TATS Y I HAD TO REPEAT ONE YEAR OF EDUCATION .. COS EVERYTHIn in singapore is made so cheapp....n available to EVERY1!!!so democratic tat pple who opose e GOvt wUD NOT B in jail instead wud b holidayin in graveyards soon... so 3 CHEERS to demOCRACy iN SpPorE Once again!!!!! farts TO uR Democratic society!!!!!!!!!!!!!fart*FART*faRTzzzzzzzzzz******

such efficient town planning that e RICH AND E POOR R CLEARLY DISTINGUISHED .. ex
man A :WHERE do u reside in ?
man B: bukit timah
man A :oH RICH MAN EH ..
MAN B: BuKIT TImah GO uP FURTHUR HILLVIEW FLATS
man A :byeeee

HMMM such efficiency in town planning tat nicoll highwae .... IS STANDING TALL and higH
SUCH beautiful interior.. wid cracks ...and broken steel bars... LOLZ tis is singapore's HIGH EFFICIENCY TOWN PLANNING ... 3 chheers tat E NXT HIGH WAE DUSNT COME BUSTLING DOWN...

such a rich country...THERES a charity drive call NKF and its a donation drive where they need pple's donation on channeL 8 OF ALL CHANNELS...N THEY CAN AFFORD TO GIVE NOT ONE BT QUITE A FEW CARS N CONDOS AWAE ... bt they cant provide for pple n they need other;s help.. NICE NICE ... TIS IS OUR RICH COUNTRY....!!!INDEED TRULY RICH....
qn is y CHANNEL 8?Y CANT IT B CHANNEL 5 OR VASANTHAM OR SURIA OR CHANNEL U OR CHANNEL I WHY MUS IT ONLI B CHANNEL 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
R THEY TRYIN TO SAE ONLI THEY R CAPABLE OR WAT?..... N y mus e charity drive b in mandrin ..if its in mandARIN why ISSIT A MULTI RACIAL COUNTRY?????? Y NOT ENGLISH e neutral language .. if they can have mandarin y not tamil ?malay?JAPANESe?BLAH BLAH MULTI RACIAL WAT! AHHAHA GOVT ... NICE GOVT ... WAT A MULTI RACIAL COUNTRY TAT ONLI MAJORITY OF E CHINESE GET INTO UNI for e course medicine and law....racial quota in such impt courses in singapore when its multi racial ?dun u tink its tooo fair?OR R E CHINKySS AFRAID TAT pple who dun eat wateva's tat found in e toilet bowl ..n pple who bathe eeverytime ..n SARLESS in short e NON YELLOWS! can fare betta ?